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20121213
20121213
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Search Results 0 to 3 of about 4 (some duplicates have been removed)
Comedy Central
Dec 13, 2012 10:30am PST
, you did it. yesterday "america again" hit number one on amazon! wooooooooo! [cheers and applause] literally -- literally read it and weep, bill! this is huge. "killing kennedy" has been on the amazon charts for ten weeks! nine weeks longer than it took him to write it. [ laughter ] not only did "america again" beat out "killing kennedy," it also beat out the kinky, psychosexual novel "fifty shades of grey" due, i'm sure, to my book's graphic depictions of depraved sadomasochistic sex. [ laughter ] once again, my apologies to doris kearns goodwin. [ laughter ] as for papa bear, i have so crushed my hero, i look forward to his next book "killing a fifth of bourbon in a puddle of my own tears" by bill o'reilly but my book is not the only thing that has captured the imagination of america. the country is gripped by the prospect that i will be appointed to replace jim demint in the us senate by south carolina governor nikki haley. [cheers and applause] and i am raking in the -- it's electric! and i am raking in the endorsements. for instance, when asked about my appointment with desti
Comedy Central
Dec 12, 2012 6:55pm PST
budget deal by january 1, automatic spending cuts will kick in and plunge america into a second recession things are not looking too good. >> in washington, a fly in the ointment. debt deal negotiations have stalled. >> the fiscal cliff stalemate remains. >> the standoff continues. there isn't a lot of reason for hope. >> democrats and republicans are blaming each other for the stalled negotiations. >> who's going to blink sglirs what's going to blink first. >> the white house is daring republicans literally to blink. (laughter) >> stephen: obama is daring republicans literally to blink. well, the joke's on him! (laughter) because i know some republicans who had their eyelids surgically removed. (laughter) (cheers and applause) now obama won't budge off his calls for $1.6 trillion in new tax revenue over the coming decade, mostly from increasing tax rates and taxes on upper-bracket earners. folks, that's just punishing our nation's job creators. america's billionaires are the engine that drives our economy through smart investments! and occasionally through dumb ones. (laughter)
Search Results 0 to 3 of about 4 (some duplicates have been removed)